Intern vs. The Red Paper Clip Project: Part 2

Look, the alarm clock radio is gone. I know, I know, your great grandmother had that same one in World War II and you've never been able to find another one just like it until now. I've heard it all before, old man. But it's gone. Quit calling here.

I got rid of that and now I've got an antique unicycle.

You that read right. 

But you didn't read that right!

 

I traded the alarm clock radio for a motherfuedin' antique unicycle. It's got just the one wheel which, I've learned, is how you can tell it's a unicycle. Now if you recall, I traded a Sunflower iPhone handset for that alarm clock radio (and if you don't recall, you should probably go see a doctor because that was only a week ago dude). So I essentially traded that Sunflower promotional product for the unicycle. 

Now we're playing with POWER (this is a Knife Party reference [Knife Party is a young people music band {I know, “Knife Party?!” What's wrong with kids these days?!}])! Anyways, it's the POWER of promotional products! I'm (we're) on my (our) way up in the world!

 

But my mom says the unicycle has to go. “You can't ride the $%^&ing thing and you're gonna #$%^ing hurt yourself!” My mom's got a dirty mouth.

But seriously, I can't keep the unicycle. I need to continue trading up. I (we) can't stop now! I'm donating the final trade to Helping Hands Humane Society and apparently they “have no use for a unicycle.” They didn't actually say that, I just inferred.

 

I'm (we're) only getting started! Are the “we”s in parentheses bothering you? It's something I picked up from my marketing textbook. Something about engaging and including the reader? Don't ask me, I only read the Sparknotes.

 

Back to the point – I want to get rid of this unicycle. It's taking up my whole trunk which leaves no room for subs (shorthand for “subwoofers”). Doesn't putting the full word in parentheses after the shorthand totally defeat the purpose of using the shorthand? Yes, yes it does. You can continue to follow the POWER of promotional products here, and YOU CAN BECOME A PART OF THE STORY by trading me something for the unicycle! Just e-mail me (ekampsen@mcind.com)! No nudes please, this is my work e-mail.

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