Thursday, June 27, 2013

Intern vs. The Red Paper Clip Project: Part 3

I believe it was the great Western philosopher Jay-Z once said “would you rather be underpaid or overrated?” I apply this mantra to my daily lifestyle and my unpaid internship, and look where it’s gotten me: I now have a flatscreen TV and an HP printer available for trade.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, my internship is proving to be quite the adventure, and I am its captain, sailing the seven deadly seas of Craigslist.
Maybe I should elaborate. Ever seen The Craigslist Killer? Well add it to your instant queue. You’ll never want to use Craigslist again.
Personally, I haven’t seen it, and that’s why I met a guy in the parking lot of the Holton Walmart Tuesday morning to trade a Wonderwall entertainment projector for a 27” flatscreen TV. His was the 3rd of several “too good to be true” offers, which also included a 750GB external hard drive and a “limited edition” Tippman paintball “marker.”
But back to the flatscreen – my brother and I pulled up next to the silver minivan and carried the projector over to the other side to meet the man. The most compelling detail of the encounter (besides his incredibly friendly demeanor) was his shirt – one that I would rather not elaborate on. Let’s just say it was… “totally inappropriate.”

I had fielded his offer earlier that morning with massive anxiety – having responded hours later to his initial text, sure that the deal was off and he’d moved on with his day. Not so! He responded with interest, ready to trade his “32” flatscreen tv and a #20 home depot 1/24 scale die cast piggy bank” for my projector. You may have noticed he provided more information about the piggy bank than the TV. Amusing, if not a little disconcerting.

We made the trade and while still standing outside his open minivan door, he said “have you seen that movie about Craigslist?” The only one that came to mind was the aforementioned Craigslist Killer, and I recognized this as a perfect segue into shoving me in his van and peeling out. I slowly side-stepped around the back bumper as he further elaborated on the plot of Craigslist Joe (billed as “Zach Galifianakis presents…”). Needless to say, I’m adding the DVD to my Amazon shopping cart as we speak.
As he and I speak, not me and you. You could be reading this months after the fact. Years even. How could I know?
I shut my trunk on the trade and as they say, “that’s that!” I wave goodbye to my new friend and the coolest trader I’ve met (to date).
A few minutes late to work now, I prepare to make my second trade of the day. That old antique unicycle is prepared to go and my cousin Jared (also an employee of my internship’s host firm) is prepared to find out “what [he] can break” trying to ride it. I believe the list of bones donated to similar causes already includes his collarbone and small toe (though he did not specify which foot).
So now I’m standing in the Sunflower parking lot trading a (an?) unicycle for an HP printer.
I can say with unbridled certainty that this is not the most bizarre incident to take place in the Sunflower parking lot.
And it all started with a single promotional product.
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